


Existence

by Musecookie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Character Death, Depression, Evil Father, F/M, Fear, Fluff and Angst, Other crazy stuff, Suicide, like seriously, too much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-21 00:46:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13729560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musecookie/pseuds/Musecookie
Summary: A work based of a conspiracy theory around the story Six Skeletons in Your Closet by MsMk.--------What if multiple versions of you lived in a single timeline?You can't see or interact with each other, but each of you exist for a skeleton and that skeleton exists for you.But what if you died?What if the original version of you is in the same timeline as you?What happens when everything comes crashing together as only one version of you is left behind to brave the grief of those skeletons that you'd each existed for?The conversation can be found in the comments in chapter 43 of Six Skeletons in Your Closet if you want to understand the conspiracy theory better.I recommend that you read Six Skeletons in Your Closet before reading this to actually understand it.





	1. The First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MsMK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Six Skeletons in Your Closet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10453650) by [MsMK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/pseuds/MsMK). 



> So MsMk is a really cool author that wrote Six Skeletons in Your Closet, which you should totally check out if you haven't already.  
> This is just a series based off of a convo we had about a certain theory of what was going on behind the scenes.  
> Sans was probably going to be the hardest to write, but he had to come first, so sorry if it's poorly written. These chapters may tend to be short, but they're all about the behind the scenes gore that my demented head came up with the more I thought of my theory, so they're bound to be short anyway.  
> Comment on which skele you want our poor reader to meet next.  
> And remember,  
> ENJOY!

You laugh as the boy sitting next to you at the bar tries and fails to use a pick-up line.  He looks terribly drunk, blinking blearily up at you from his hunched position on his seat.

Your own scotch sits in front of you, missing maybe a sip- you’d never really been one for hard liquor.

You had wallowed in sorrow for several days after leaving Gram, Drew, Jordan, and Eli, but you’d finally gotten up and told yourself that if you’d stay in one place for too long,  _ he’d _ send your  _ siblings _ after you.

Ever since, you’d been jumping from place to place, finding jobs and people to room with.  You’d stay for a few months at a time, until  _ she _ found you, or until they found your secrets.  

Then you’d run.

You’d found that sticking near monsters made it harder for them to find you, so that eventually drew you to Ebott city- where monsters existed in abundance.

That brings you to now- having lost yet another group of roomies, you’re sitting it out in some bar called Grillby’s, waiting for the next group of unfortunate souls to invite you to stay with them.

Maybe you should just get your own apartment- the cost would be way more expensive, but you wouldn’t have to worry about hurting anyone.

You turn to your scotch- maybe the boy next to you has the right idea.  Getting drunk sounds pretty good right about now.  

⬖⬖⬖

You look up blearily as the boy next to you stumbles out of the bar, having just thrown up in the bathroom.  He’d given up on courting you a while ago, instead opting to cry emotionally at you as he blabbered on in a drunken mantra about something or another.

With the boy gone, you’re alone at the bar, the fire elemental in front of you the only other person you really have to talk to.

You’re fine with it.  You’re no stranger to loneliness.

The door opens and lets in a strong wintry blast as another person walks in, making their way to the bar.

You only glance at him as he sits down next to you.

He’s a short skeleton, dressed in a blue hoodie and black basketball shorts.  He has a cheesy grin plastered on his face as he slumps in the seat and waves the bartender over.

“hey, grillbz.  get me the usual,” he says.  He has a deep voice that has a lilt to it, almost sounding as if he’s telling an eternal joke.  But you can tell there’s some sort of sadness there, behind his grin.  You know because you have it too, that sadness.  It’s the sort of depression that doesn’t disappear.  

You look away again, turning to look into the depths of your scotch and ponder the meaning of life.

Heh, not like yours has one.

The skeleton next to you is served a container of ketchup- no fries or food to go with, just a bottle.  You watch him out of the corner of your eye, wondering where this might lead.  

He lifts the bottle to his teeth and drinks the ketchup straight.

_ Oh,  _ you think.

You feel like you’ve seen this skeleton before, like his blue hoodie and apparent liking of ketchup are familiar to you, but that can’t be true, right?

After all, you’ve only just moved into Ebott City, and you’re fairly sure you’ve never seen the skeleton before.

He seems to notice you staring, because he turns to you with a grin.

A grin that falters when he sees your face.

_ Oh god, he  _ does _ know you. _

“you’re early,” he says quietly.

“Pardon?”  you ask.  Is he mistaking you for someone else?  “I don’t believe we’ve met before,” you say hesitantly.  He seems to jump out of his reverie, a grin growing on his face again.

“oh, sorry, thought you were someone else.  i’m meeting someone that i need to  _ ketchup _ with.”  To emphasize the pun he just made, he gestures at the red bottle resting on the counter.  You laugh.  Puns?  You can do puns.

“I’m sure, whoever they are, they’ll need to be  _ red- _ y for some puns, no?”  you shoot back.   His grin grows wider.

“so you’re a fan of puns, eh?  i have a feeling we’ll be great friends.  name’s sans.  sans the skeleton,” he says.

“Y/n,” you say evenly.

⬖⬖⬖Sans⬖⬖⬖

she showed up early.  two years too early.  it might just be because of this weird mashup of universes where all the different versions of paps and i are just  _ here _ , but y/n is… different.  she’s way more reserved, and she acts differently in some places as well.  

after the last resest, i’d felt like something was off, but i couldn’t figure out what.  what if it’s this?  y/n always used to hate puns.  

i feel like… she’s still y/n, but there’s something sadder about her.  something’s happened to her in this timeline, but i can’t seem to place it.

as we talk, i can see she’s drunk, but she’s quiet.  that’s not right.  she’s  _ never _ a quiet drunk.  y/n gets loud, she gets crazy, when she’s drunk.  how she is right now, it’s almost scary, the way she’s talking, like she doesn’t have the slightest care in the world about what happens to her.  

She’s still  the same, but altogether too different.

something tells me this isn’t my y/n.

something tells me my y/n has been dead for a long time.

⬖⬖⬖

You’d eventually find some roomies who are looking for another roommate, and you moved in that night.  Sans and you meet at the bar still, sometimes to talk and hang out.  You’d started going to a community college, deciding you’d get better jobs with an education.

It’s been two years since you met Sans.

He’s not the only friendly monster you’ve met since that night.


	2. Un-bear-able Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reader's death happens.  
> Also, asparagus and an epic honey war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy Stretch y'all.  
> Huzzah! Reader dies!  
> Oh, and they really do cook a mean asparagus.  
> Can you tell what my favorite veggie is?
> 
> The time where Stretch and reader meet is between meeting Sans and moving in with him.  
> I know this isn't exactly canon to the story, but... ya know.
> 
> This is based off of a conspiracy theory for Six Skeletons in your closet, so read it if ya haven't already.  
> Seriously. What are you doing here if you haven't? You'll have literally no storyline to follow.

⬖⬖⬖Stretch ⬖⬖⬖

she’s dying.  oh god, she’s dying. i’d found her too late, and now she’s gonna die.

“y/n,” i whisper as i choke back my tears.  “stay with me, honey.”  she’s just lying there, limp in my arms.  where’s her sharp wit?  her strong personality?  where’s the y/n i love so much?

the blood leaks out of the words carved into her side.

“MONSTER WHORE,” they say.  they’re crude, and ugly, and-

oh god, she’s still holding on.  she reaches up to touch my face gently, a small smile forming on her face.

“Guess it’s too late to get a tip under the table, huh?” she asks weakly.  i can’t help it.  i let out a laugh that borders on insane.

“no, honey-  you can still get a tip if ya want,” i say urgently.  “don’t leave me here, don’t leave.  hold on, i’ll help you… i’ll…”  there’s no need to talk anymore.  i might as well be talking to a corpse.

because i already am.

⬖⬖⬖

it had all been fine this morning.  y/n had been leaving to go to muffet’s.  she’d kissed me between my eye sockets.

“See you later, alligator,” she’d said.  she was all dressed up in her adorable waitressing uniform- it made me want to pull her into my room and show her how beautiful i thought she was.  she’d grabbed her purse, and was about to walk out the door when sans came bounding in to give her a departing hug.

“GOODBYE Y/N!  TELL MUFFET I SAID HELLO!” he’d shouted happily.  Her face lit up in that special way that was only ever for sans.  

leaning down to kiss him on the nasal cavity, she’d said, “of course, sans.  anything for my favorite royal guard.”  then she’d left.  she’d walked out the door, and we never thought anything of it.

like she was never gonna die that day.

i’d only gotten the call after her shift was over.  i’d worried that she was late, but i’d just dismissed it as her shopping or staying to work an extra shift.

i’d regretted it once that phone call came in.

i’d been reading, idly sitting by the kitchen counter when my phone started ringing.  it was her. i had picked up the phone, ready to make a clever pun, but her weak voice had cut me off.

“Hot...land Road… help…” was all she said before the connection was cut off.

by the time i found her, it was too late.  from all of chara’s runs through the underground, i’d come to realize, that at some point, you can tell from the size of the blood puddle that they’re not gonna make it.  

she swam in a sea of red.

⬖⬖⬖

You grab the asparagus from the shelf.  Shelby had said today would be the day for steamed veggies, and you can cook a mean asparagus.

Like, seriously.  How had you gotten the knack for that?

You pull your cart out of the food isle, ready to take all your items up to the cashier when something catches your eye. 

A bottle of honey stands all alone on a shelf.   _ Of course _ !  You’d known you’d forgotten something, but seeing the bear-shaped bottle reminds you that Kevin had totally demolished the last bottle you had when he had a cold.  You know Rei would never forgive you if you forgot to get honey  _ again _ .

You push your cart over to grab the last bottle, but at the same moment you reach for it, someone else does, too.  

A skeletal hand tries to grab the honey bottle, but you’re not backing down.  Without looking at the owner of the hand, you keep your hold on that bottle like if you let go, the world will end.

Finally, your opponent backs down with a huff. 

“you’re pretty stubborn, aren’t… you…”  you turn to him. “... _ honey… _ ” he finishes.

He’s a tall skeleton with an oval-ish face.  He wears a bright orange hoodie and dark trousers.  Something about his laid-back demeanor reminds you of your friend Sans.

He’d been grinning good-naturedly before he’d seen you, but now his smile has been replaced by a shocked expression.  You grunt in annoyance.

“Look, I  _ know _ I don’t look like-”  you begin, but the man interrupts you.

“y-y/n?”  His eye sockets are wide in recognition.  “i thought you-”

“Do I know you?”  you ask.  His eyes, which had seemed so joyful only moments before, instantly dampen, becoming sad.

“no... no, i suppose you… don’t,” he says, before disappearing into the store.

You don’t even know how it happened.  One moment he was there, the next, he wasn’t.

Maybe he was never there.

Something tells you to forget about him.

You do.

⬖⬖⬖

my stomach heaves as i slump in the bathroom stall.

she had been right there.  alive. healthy. 

and she didn’t recognize me.

the timeline hasn’t reset.  is she just… no it can’t be. 

it must be someone else-

my y/n is long gone.

i let out a strangled cry before teleporting back to the house.

time to pack.

sans and i are lucky one of my poker buddies invited us to stay with him in our time of grief.  says he’s been through the exact same thing.  i find it hard to believe, though.

my y/n was  _ unique _ .

there was no one like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know the chapter title is a pun.  
> And no, I don't regret it.  
> Also, Blue is a cutie.  
> I have my own canon that he and Muffet are friends, because, ya know, Underswap.  
> Also, Shelby, Kevin, and Rei are the reader's roommates at the time.


	3. Cats Don't Always Land on Their Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *hiccup*  
> sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SOOOORRRRYYYYY!  
> I'M A DEMON I KNOW.
> 
> The perspective is mainly from our edgy fluffball red.  
> Warning: this chapter does contain suicide, so tread carefully if you're not comfortable with that stuff.
> 
> Please don't hate me for doing this to our skeles...  
> I already hate myself for doing this enough.

my hand shakes as i open the door quickly. the door had been created only moments before, when i’d been sitting in my recliner and kitten texted me.  

**kitten:** _ I love you. I always will. Goodbye. _

i’d seen enough of those sorts of texts to know it was a text people don’t come back from.

stepping through, i can see the roof of  the six-story complex, the one famous for suicides.  at the end of the roof… is my kitten.

she’s just standing there, peering out over the edge of the roof.

she’s wearing her favorite color, purple.  boss likes that color.  it looks good on her.

“it’s a good view, right?”  i say, hoping to distract her.  she starts and turns around.  my voice wavers at the sight of her face.  so beautiful.  “just don’t get too close.  beauty kills.” i wink at her.  “i would know.”

she doesn’t laugh, just gives me a sad smile.  i’ve been seeing that smile too often lately.

“Oh, Sans.  You weren’t supposed to be here to see this,” she says.  she looks so, so sad.  like everything is weighing her down.

“well, i am now, so let’s just go back home, okay, kitten?  everything’s gonna be alright.”  i reach my hand out to her. 

the sun is setting, its brilliant rays hitting her back and illuminating her beautiful figure.  she doesn’t reach back for my hand. instead she spreads her arms out, like she wants to fly.

“Tell Papyrus I loved him.  Tell the world that I wasn’t ready for it,” she says.  she’s standing on the edge now, her arms out.

she looks at me, tears coursing down her face as i lunge for her, and she lets out her last message.  

“And for you, Honeymustard, it was never your fault.  I loved you down until my last breath.”

then she walks backward, off the side of the building.

into release.

my scream can be heard for miles.

⬖⬖⬖

it’s her funeral today.

they’d pulled her body off the streets after she jumped.  

the casket is closed.  they want people to remember he as she was.

i remember everything.

paps, for once, is crying.  not trying to deny it.  just letting the sorrow and pain and frustration out.

_ why did she have to die? _

i can’t take it anymore.

being here, where they put her underground and then we never see her again.

it’s too  _ final _ .

i open a doorway to the nearest park.

⬖⬖⬖

You put your head between your knees as you try to slow your breathing.

Shelby had seen your scars.  She’d asked questions.

It won’t be long before they figure it out.

Before they send you packing.

You look up at the trees that surround you.  You like this park.  It’s not used often, and it’s always quiet, hidden from the constant traffic that the university gets.

No one else is here, save for a skeleton in a dark suit.

Wonder what’s got him all dressed up.

You watch him out of the corner of your eye as you try to think up anywhere you could stay if your roomies really did happen to throw you out.

You see him as he collapses on the ground.

You’re sure that’s not normal.

Running over to the skeleton, you see he’s short and has a round skull.

He’s on his knees, his hands ripping up grass as he mutters something over and over under his breath.  You decide to take a chance.

“Hello?  Are you okay?”  You step toward him as he looks up.

His jaw goes slack as his eyes brim with tears.

You step back as he explodes up at you.

“don’t you dare!  don’t you  _ dare _ look at me with that face!  how  _ dare _ you ask me if i’m okay!?” He looks slightly maniacal as he yells at you.

You have no idea what’s wrong.  

“What the hell, man? I was trying to  _ help _ !”  you yell, and the skeleton pauses.

“ _ kitten, _ ” he says, before he entirely blinks out of existence.

What!?  You look around wildly.  He did  _ not _ just disappear like that, you think.  There’s no way.

Apparently, there is, you decide, after making certain he isn’t anywhere near you.

What is  _ up _ with these skeletons?

⬖⬖⬖

i retch again as i lean against the mausoleum.  that girl looked  _ exactly _ like kitten.  like  _ my _ kitten.  she sounded like her, too.

why?

why do i have to endure this?  am i being punished for what i did underground?  

i can’t get away.  i can’t escape that moment.

the moment she fell backward, a slight smile on her face as she decided to leave me behind in this world.

i tried to commit suicide that night.

i couldn’t.  i was never as brave as my kitten.

paps needs me.

i shake my head, bringing myself back to the present.

that girl i saw today…

she was wearing purple.

i hate the color purple.

at least one of my poker buddies is letting us stay with him in our time of grief.  says he's been through the exact same thing.  i find that hard to believe, though.

my y/n was  _unique_ _._

there was no one like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY RED.  
> I HAD TO.  
> MY INNER MUSE WAS SCREAMING HORRIBLE THINGS AT ME!


	4. A Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart cancer exists, although it is rare.  
> Around 14,000 people are diagnosed with it worldwide every year.  
> Most of the time, it's just harmless mutated cells.  
> Sometimes, it's actual cancer, being pumped through the veins and destroying the body from the inside.  
> It destroys the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ack. I feel like a real angst author now.  
> I hope you are all happy.  
> *sniffle*  
> Pink, I'm so sorry for doing this to you.  
> On the other hand, it gives you a great back story.  
> Hurray.

white-washed walls.

disinfectant. 

coughing. 

i shudder as i walk down the hospital hallway.  i’ve never liked hospitals.  they’re all so… depressing. bleak.

i sigh as i stop in front of the fifth door on the right.  it isn’t hard to muster up a smile.  my sugar was what gave me the will to really smile back when i still thought the world revolved around sex.  she still gives me reasons to smile, every day.

my hand only shakes slightly as i open the door.

there she is.  in the early morning light, y/n looks so beautiful.

even if she’s pale from blood loss.  and too thin.  all of her beautiful long hair is gone.  

my y/n is just a shell of what she used to be.

yet, i can see as she opens her eyes groggily, that same fire burns in her eyes that was always there.  the fire that i’d seen when she’d told me about the trafficking- about how she wished violently that she could end it.

even with the cancer eating away at her body, her soul is untouched.

“oh, sugar, you simply  _ must _ tell me where you got that bandana from!” i exclaim, gesturing to the bright pink bandana she wears wrapped around her head. 

she gives me a small laugh. “ _ You _ got that for me, Sans.” then her pretty face twists up in pain as she coughs.

i let my grin drop as i rush to her side.  “sugar?” i ask. “tell me if you’re okay, dear.”

she stops hacking long enough to look me in the eyes.

“please don’t leave,” she says.  my heart absolutely breaks as i look into her beautiful eyes.  so many times before, i’d looked into her eyes and seen so many possibilities.  so many futures.

now all i can see is a worried skeleton reflected back up at me.

“sugar, i’d  _ never _ leave you.”  my arms encircle her shaking form.  i hadn’t left her to the harem.  i won’t leave her now.

the heart rate monitor beside her bed picks up.

heart cancer is extremely rare.  only around 14,000 people are diagnosed with it each year.  it’s also one of the hardest to survive.  it completely wrecks the immune system and destroys the heart.

and my y/n got it.  my sweet y/n, who’d survived being sold as a sex slave. who'd survived everything.

they’d gone through surgery after surgery to get rid of it, until her heart became too weak to keep beating.  then they’d hooked her up to a machine and called it hospice.

they say she can die any time.  her heart can randomly stop beating and never start again.

i find it funny, how someone with a heart big enough for a slut of a skeleton like me can die because her heart wasn’t strong enough.

i feel a tug, and i look down to see her staring up at me.  she’s trying to speak.

“You… I always loved you… and Paps…”  i blink. what?  that sounds like something someone would say before they die.

oh.

“no, no, no.  sugar, hold on.  i’ll get someone to help you-”  i’m stopped by her grip on my jacket before i can jump out of the hospital bed to get a doctor.

“You… promised…” i gulp.  she points at the machine.  “Too late… anyway…”  i see her heart rate is too fast.  she’s still holding on, but not for much longer.  “I want… you… to know- know that… you and paps… were…  _ perfect _ …” her voice fades off into a whisper as her eyelids flutter shut.

i don’t speak, just listen with shut eyes as the monitor beats so fast it turns into one flat buzz, and her breaths slow until they’re gone.

a tear slides down my cheek when i open my eyes.

⬖⬖⬖

sans had told us to just knock on the door, but i wasn’t ready for  _ her _ to open the door.

she looks exactly as i remember her, before the chemotherapy took all her hair.

before cancer took her life three years ago.

i let my smile freeze on my face before i speak.  “ohhhh myyyyy,” i say seductively.

hoping she won’t see through my smile.

i take her hand, if only just to feel her again.

my y/n.

but she doesn’t show any recognition, no smile for me.

“what an adorable human. say, sugar, are you going to be here all night? i might need some company later,” i say, hoping against hope that she remembers.

this is the exact same thing i had said to her a long time ago, when we had first met.

when i still thought the world revolved around sex.

“Well, I live here, so…” she says.  no recognition at all.  

after they let us in, and y/n walks away, i’m left standing there, feeling confused.  paps had recognized her, too, but he’d played dumb, just acting like she was a stranger.  like she thinks we are strangers.  even though she’d once told paps that he was like a brother to her, that she’d never forget him.

red walks up to me, and speaks quietly enough for only me to hear.

“whatever you think, it’s not her.  that y/n is…” i finish for him.

“long gone.”

he walks away, leaving me to watch helplessly as the girl i always loved laughs with other skeletons.

like she loves them, and not me.

red was right.  

my y/n…

she died three years ago.

of a rare condition called heart cancer.

she died because her heart broke.


	5. Not With a Whimper But a Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunter's tenacious partner decides when she dies and where.  
> No one else can tell her whether or not she gets to die.  
> Not even Hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying.  
> You're crying!
> 
> Sorry Hunter. Yours wasn't *as* bad, though...
> 
> *sweats*  
> Haha forget I said anything.

“Enemy discovered at coordinates 0.43, 3.67,” she says.

i focus my cross-hairs in at the coordinates, and sure enough, there he is- a small, dark human picking his way through the underbrush.  we’d been notified several minutes earlier of an unknown figure entering our territory, and asgore had sent y/n and i to take it out.

“good job, scout.”  i say.  she grins ferally, that fiery glare in her eyes shining as she does so.

we watch the man slowly move through the dense forest before he comes to a stop next to a tree.  this is it.

“Target acquired,” y/n and i say at the same time- it was a habit she’d picked up from me.

she begins to move toward the human, but i grab her before she can get too far away and plant a kiss in her hair.

she giggles quietly before returning the kiss on my teeth.  i let out a silent laugh.

“go get ‘em, doe,” i whisper, and she smiles warmly before taking off with her dagger.

we work as a team.  my y/n has a dagger and a hand held pistol- she takes out the main target first.  i stay back to watch for signs of ambush and take them out with my silent rifle if there are any.

i keep my eyes trained on the trees surrounding my doe as she weaves through them silently.

my hands tighten on my rifle as she positions herself next to the human.

now comes her dagger, slicing the man’s neck open from behind.

sweat beads on my skull as i wait.

then i see it.  moments before y/n jumps out of the underbrush to end the human, a glint in a well-endowed tree catches my eye.

another sharp-shooter.

he’s well hidden, but i can tell he’s not from the monsters’ side.  i’m the only monster sharpshooter.

i swing my rifle around to aim on him, focusing to see the breathing figure between leaves and branches.  

y/n jumps at the human as i pull my trigger.

the bullet takes less than a second to find it’s mark.  the man falls out of the tree in a dark blur, rifle falling beside him.  

target handled.

i look to see if y/n was successful- there’d been no sounds of struggle, but i can’t be sure.  i hadn’t heard the other rifle shot go off though, and i know that silent rifles are rare, so chances are she took the target out without any difficulties.

target mishandled.

code five.

she’s been shot.

man down.

oh god.

so many thoughts run through my head as i see her form lying on the ground next to the other human’s body.  he’d been killed, but i can see it from here.  it hadn’t been  _ her  _ target- no, it’d been mine.  she’d been shot by a silencer rifle.

damning the consequences, i rush down through the woods to see my human, my  _ doe _ lying in a puddle of blood.

“c’mon doe, are ya alright?”  i rush over to her and push my hands to her neck and find a faint pulse.  still alive.  i sigh in relief.

i flip her over so she faces me, and i finally see where she was shot.  left shoulder, major artery.  my breathing chokes.  that’s a serious hit.  she’ll be in critical condition.

if she survives.

i shake my head.  of  _ course _ she’ll survive.  i set to work trying to stop the wound, but suddenly a hand reaches up, and i look down and it’s  _ her _ , looking up at me and smiling.

she has that fierce fire in her eyes, the one that says she’s gonna be stubborn about something and no one’s gonna change her mind.  she’s holding onto life.  that’s it, she’s not gonna give up.  that’s my doe.

i hold her as her grin widens into a pained grimace, but she talks.

“I always thought I’d go out in a blaze of fire,” she says.

oh, no.  no, no, no.  she’s saying the wrong things- that doesn’t sound like someone holding onto life desperately- that sounds like someone who’s ready to let go.

i’m not ready to let go.

“oh, of course you can, doe.  just get up, and we can live a little more- ya don’t have to die like this,”  i say.  and i’m not afraid to talk about death.  y/n and i talk about it all the time.

it’s just that i’m afraid of losing her.

her smile is determined again, and i can see that stubborn refusal to do anything other than what she wants in her eyes.

that trait her soul was named after.

tenacity. 

“No.  It’s about time, Sans.  This shot would leave me-”  she coughs, and bloody saliva dribbles out of the corner of her mouth.  i wipe it away as she continues.  “This shot… would leave me crippled for life.  I don’t… want to drag you down.  I go… when I say I go, and I will  _ not _ go out with a whimper, as a cripple… with no say over how I die.”

she looks up at me with that  _ look _ , and I know no matter what I do, she’s gonna die, and that’ll be it.  she would hate me if i kept her alive.

it doesn’t make it any harder for me, though.

i sit with her and talk.

we talk about everything, about how we met, about our missions.

about papyrus.  about all of our friends.

at some point she starts talking less and less, opting to listen more as i talk to her, recounting all of the details of our lives together.

i talk until my voice grows hoarse, squeezing her hand every few minutes.

i talk until after her hand stops squeezing back and it grows cold.

i talk through my tears as the sun sets and the woods grow dark.

it’s still hard to say exactly when she died.

i just know that while my y/n may have died quietly, but she left a hole in the world that caused a bang anyway.

she died with a  _ bang _ , and not a whimper.

⬖⬖⬖

i find her in the kitchen, head down, muttering to herself.

red and pup had told me she’d probably be hanging around toriel, and there she is, scrubbing dishes.

i sigh annoyance.   _ this _ is the human everyone’s been going crazy about?  she looks like any other human to me.  boring, dull, nothing like…

well, nothing like  _ her. _

what was this chick’s name again?  it’s right at the tip of my tongue, but i can’t seem to get it. 

oh well, not like it really matters anyway.

i must admit, something about her form is pretty sexy…

but there’s something oddly bittersweet and familiar about her.

as i focus on the girl, i have to keep an old phrase from slipping out of my mouth.

target acquired.  i don’t say it much anymore, not since… well.

i creep up on her, deciding scaring the human would maybe make this thanksgiving a lot less boring.

she lets out a sigh just as i slam my hands down around her and yell, “boo!”

she jumps and whirls.

and there she is.  big eyes, slender nose, perfect lips… 

everything i remember about my doe.

this girl  _ is _ my doe.

i keep up the act i had going before.  something’s not right.  she hadn’t spotted me the moment she walked in, like she’d always been able to do.  i need to figure out what’s going on before i treat her like my doe again.

“heh, jumpy, ain’tcha? suppose that’s normal for a little human girl like you. what’s your name, doe eyes?”

she looks dumbfounded, studying me for several long moments. no spark of recognition in her eyes, though i see a fire in there that reflects that of my doe’s fiery nature.

i grow impatient, waiting for her name.  “hello? you alive in there? i said what’s your name, doe?” she blinks.

“Oh!  Uh, m-my name’s Y/n,” she says.  

_ her  _ name.  it’s my doe’s name.  could this be her? 

“that’s a stupid name,” i reply flatly.

no...

while this girl may look like my y/n, and while she might have her name…

my y/n died that day in the woods.  she wanted it to end there.

whoever’s standing in front of me right now ain’t my doe.

my y/n left this world with a bang a long time ago.


	6. The Way the World Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything ends in some grand finale.  
> Not everything stays perfect forever.  
> That's just how the world works.  
> G had to learn that the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honestly terribly tired.  
> Luckily, coffee and tea are here to save the day.  
> Seriously, these things should have, like, capes or something.  
> Coffee-senpai~
> 
> Also, bonus on what G might've thought after doing the hanky-(s)panky with the darling reader.  
> Oh, that was an evil joke.

“Apples,” she says without a moment’s hesitation.  “I’d rather eat apples over oranges any day.”  

i laugh and lean back in my seat as my hands grip the steering wheel.  we’ve been playing a silly game of would you rather for a while now.  we’re on an hour long trip back home after a meeting at her work, but we pass the time by telling jokes and playing games.  paps is back at home, probably smooching his girlfriend, y/n’s twin sister.

i find it too weird that i got y/n and he got her sister.  too  _ weird _ .

“Okay, okay.  My turn,” she says, leaning against the dashboard as she looks at me.  “Would you rather… smooch a ghost?” she leans in rather close. “Or a human?”  

i grin at her.  her shirt is a little too small, showing the ring piercing in her belly button, but i know she likes it like that.  “hmmm... a ghost,” i say.  “yep, definitely a ghost.”

she makes a pouty face at that, but then grins wickedly. 

oh no.

“So... you’d totally kiss a Napstablook or Mettablook?”  she asks.  i sigh, but i keep to my game, wondering what she’s planning.  i nod.  bad idea.  she squeals and holds up her phone.  “Hear that, Blooky?!  He’d totally smooch you!” i hear a faint yell of mirth on the other side of the line and i groan.  of course she’d play a prank on me.  

her laughter is contagious, and soon i start laughing, too. 

we pull onto a highway, and i gesture at her seatbelt.  “better put that on, angel.  you don’t wanna  _ seat _ what happens when you get in a car crash and you don’t have that on.”  

she grins.  “You  _ belt _ I don’t,” she quips.  i sigh.  i love this woman.

she pulls her seatbelt over her small frame as she settles back into her seat.   she’s so sweet sometimes… 

i swear she’s an ethereal being come to earth sometimes.

hence the nickname.

the cars move slowly at this hour, and we finally turn off into an intersection thirty minutes later.

i look at her again.  she’s grinning evilly, smirking at me from behind a pair of shades.

where did she get those?

the light turns green, and we pull out into the road.  “what?” i ask.

she opens her mouth.

_ static. _

white light erupts as a semi truck speeding through the red light hits our black sedan.

_ on her side. _

the car goes flying as we bounce around violently, and the only thought that pops in my fear-filled head is that i’m glad i told her to wear her seatbelt.

… 

we finally stop spinning and bouncing, ending up upside-down on the pavement.  My eye sockets are screwed shut, but when i open them, all i can see is red.

_ red? I don’t bleed. _

she does.

my neck nearly snaps when i whip it around to check on her.

 

_ Shit. _

 

she’s hanging in her seat all funny, limp and her neck looks like it’s at a wrong angle.  nothing wrong, right?   _ right? _  a little white thing hangs out of the back of her neck, and her arms look like they have more joints than they’re supposed to.  the door is caved in and pressing into her.

a shout sounds from outside.  people are surrounding out car and trying to get us out.  yeah, me and y/n are gonna be just fine.  just fine.  they’ll get us out of the car and i’ll call paps and she’ll call her sister and everything will be alright.

⬖⬖⬖

“what do you  _ mean _ , they’re both  _ dead _ ?!” i shout, my voice bordering on hysterical.   paps just looks sorely sorry. and yet firm at the same time.

“Sans, you have to give up on your delusions now.  I know you thought Y/n and… and her sister have been in the hospital to talk to each other, but you  _ know _ that’s not true.

i know it’s not true.  but i’m not ready to  _ let go _ yet.  not ready to admit that the car crash killed her.  if i do, it makes it real.

“Sans, face the truth.  Y/n died in the car accident, and her sister died of a broken heart.  It’s how the world works.  You can’t just  _ tell _ the world they’re still alive,” my brother says before going to his room.

⬖⬖⬖

i hear their cars opening and closing, slamming shut as they grab things out of their cars.  they said they would be coming, so i’m not really surprised.  what i  _ do _ notice, though, is a human girl is helping them unload.  whoa.  never really took thought  _ that _ group would really ever be friends with a  _ human _ .

she leaves them to come to the door, but i’m already there.  i grab her wrist and grin.

“well well well...sans said they were comin’ over, but he never mentioned they were bringing an angel,” i say.  she finally looks up, blushing incredibly. 

then i realize.

_ y/n _ .

it’s her.  i want to hug her, kiss her, hold her, but then i look behind her.  classic is right there glaring at me with that freaky smile and shaking his head.

“ _ not her,” _ he mouths.   _ not her _ ?  what the hell is that supposed to mean?

well, message conveyed anyway.

oh, is all i can think later when he tells me the reality of the situation. 

he pats me on the back, like a friend would.  “your girl is gone, just like the rest of ours, g.  i’m… so sorry.”  i let him go as i collapse against the wall in frustration.

did seeing my girl again really need to be the reminder that she is truly gone?

⬖⬖⬖

i lean my head in my hands as i sit outside my room.

she’s still asleep, but i can’t  _ believe _ i did that.  after everything the others told me, i  _ know _ it just ain’t right.

i had  _ sex _ with her.  she doesn’t even know why i consented.

she doesn’t know how much i’d only wanted to hold my y/n again, to feel her and cherish her.

to keep her.

no, she doesn’t know any of that.

because she’s not  _ her. _

she’s not  _ any _ of the girls from the stories the other versions of me told me.

she’s just… her.  y/n.

and that’s what frustrates me.

_ who is y/n _ ?


	7. Echoes of an Eternal Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When meeting a girl, Horror just can't help but feel he knows her...  
> But that can't be right, can it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry I disappeared this last weekend, I just went somewhere and I couldn't find the time to write again until now.  
> So... I hope this chapter is worth the wait, my dear readers~

her time is almost up.  she told me.

i only got to have her for ten months down here.

they were the best ten months of my life.

and now she’s dying.  her illness would kill her after about a year, she’d said.  I’d done everything to postpone it- keep her from eating or drinking anything that would trigger it.

and yet it still pursued her life without tire.  that illness is going to  _ kill _ her.

my last chance is the echo flowers.  

i remember being so surprised when the kiddo drank the sea tea- and they actually healed almost instantly.  sea tea is created out of echo flower essence- and it was the only food or drink in the entire underground that healed the kid completely.

when i had to kill the kid ‘cuz they were healthy again and able to run, i flew to gerson in a rage and asked him what  _ that _ was all about.

he’d laughed and told me that echo flowers were like the elixir of life for humans before i separated his head from his body.

echo flowers are poisonous for monsters.

y/n’s small frame is light in my arms as i jump from place to place, taking us closer to waterfall faster than any other living being.  the world flashes by as i hop between time and space.

the jumps make me think of a time when a soul of pure determination decided that killing every monster alive would be fun.  

those days are long gone, though.

finally, we reach the dark atmosphere of waterfall.  once, i might have been hesitant to fome here, but since undick the undying decided to move permanently into the king’s old home, waterfall has been the perfect place to go.  plenty of weak monsters to dust and lots of open, isolated place.

we appear in a room full of the blue flowers, dark stars made of stones twinkling on the ceiling.  whispers rush around the room, bouncing off walls and weaving between the flowers.

once, this was called the most beautiful place in the underground.

no one cares about beautiful things anymore.

except my y/n.  i care about her.  and she’s the most beautiful thing on the planet.

i set her down carefully among the flowers, their soft blue glow radiating over her skin.

she looks pretty in blue, i think, as she leans her head toward one of the flowers and breathes into it.

so,  _ so _ pretty.

even in death, as she looks me in the eyes wearily and i know i won’t be able to save her.

10 months is a short time to live a lifetime with someone.

…someone?

…

…is there someone i’m missing?

… 

oh, hey.  a human.  paps and i will have enough to last us the week.  lucky strike.  what’s a dead human doing all the way out here in waterfall?  

they shouldn’t have been able to make it past me.

shame, she might have been pretty, once upon a time.

now she’s just food.

as i leave waterfall, i think i can hear an echoflower say, “ _ I love you _ .”

and for some reason, i feel… comforted.

⬖⬖⬖

i slam the door to my room after the girl, y/n, leaves.  something felt  _ so _ familiar about her, like i knew her…

but that’s not possible, is it?

i can’t possibly know a human i’ve just met, right?  yet, i feel like i know everything about her.

like she looks good in blue.

and how she still shares her food with others who need it more, even when she’s so hungry i can see her skin sag against her bones.

and how she manages to grin at  _ monsters _ as if they were her best friends.

i wince as my head wound throbs with a sharp stab of pain.

it hurts to think about y/n.  

even though i  _ want to _ think about her.

i jump to the only place i know where to go when i feel like this.

i go to a place they call the most beautiful room in the underground.

the blue flowers shiver and whisper as i tread among them, skirting the stream that runs through the middle of the room.

i lie on my back when i reach the middle of the small field and look up at the fake stars.

an echo flower sighs as my fingers brush it, and a voice drifts out, old with time and overuse.

“...I love you…”

memories hurt, but this…

these words, so mysterious and familiar and heartbreaking at the same time…

they’re like a lullaby.

“i love you too…”


End file.
